first time i encounter that i need to reformat my pc for the third time in this 2 day, wtf?
Type_win32
some say is a virus/spyware
some say is a detection indicate the PE headers of a normal executable file are mangled and are not in standard form
so...wat do u think?
this actually was recently happen since i install kaspersky
-------------
last 2 day happen to be the first ever virus i found that totally block my internet connection, it close and lock / change the services (svc host) , first time i encounter such good virus, it was come from mail by my friends as FOTO.EXE ( once u see just delete it for good)
first i was thinking my router spoil , i buy a new one and test, it come out as same result i still can't go into internet. then i take my laptop plug the lan cable, it work! so, is not my router giving trouble but is my pc
then i format my pc
happily to see first time ever format my 600G hardisk ..damn slow..
install the window xp... yeah, look great
boot to finish all thing up, go to boot menu to rechange back as boot as "hardisk" following "cd-rom" ..
now the second problem pop up say that "NTLDR is missing" ...
WTF?
but this minor problem is ok, just change back n use the window cd boot inside, till now i still using the same method , just temporary, so lazy to fix
-----------------------------
done! thing look pretty well after install every software needed and upgrade my xp2 to xp3 with IE8, today my little bro so smart to download a crack file with virus (most crack file are build by virus type) depend it harmful or not
thanks to my AVG8.5 superb anti virus (?) , it not only unable to detect the virus but make my pc lag, it appear to be too many svchost in my taskbar, it not really a problem
wat come next is more serious, i download the best spyware removal "combofix"
the virus can direct compromise the file, so i unable to use ~ shit~
again, i unable to do anything but to REFORMAT the pc again, oh my dog......~
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
problem of my emotion
again i write here about my most worse attitude ~ emotionless with anger / bad temper
i read lot of article to find way to control myself, without letting my anger control myself, seem to be it quite hard to do so... whenever i feel unsatisfying, my anger will just raise up, my face shown unhappy and hostile toward those people who i aim for.
so, since i so hard to control myself
i wondering ... just wondering, i dun look at my anger first
i should look at my own point of view, my sentimental feeling
YES, i got it
i over sense too much, i over react too much to people word and acting
that the main reason lead me into this situation.
finding myself wrong doing is something hard to detect, because personally, no one will think us (our self) do wrong (expect those thing that shown clear) , we give lot of excuse and reason to proof us (our self) was not part of the wrong ,it was other people problem
yet i found nothing wrong with myself
BUT
i careful inspect what i have done just now, while i remember hows people and friends shown their attitude and act toward you, eventually you know there something not right in between
the case :
my tea was late arrive since i order, it was actually been forgotten, beside that too much customer at the same time and those waiter unable to handle at all, since i was already given the order and i wait 10 min not seeing my tea arrived, so i call up the waiter but no one response? when i call for few more time, my patients getting hot, eventually, my anger come up.
the very first thing i will do is shout to those waiter, and then i give them my very unhappy look, i reply my word with anger but not with bad words. the fun thing is, as other people who insult me ( or because i take it too heavy) i will not look at he/she or talk with he/she until my mood is calm down!
so..beside i got emotional over react, i also a person without much patients...
not only that occur every time, but will give people stressful feeling
that why i look myself pathetic , bad temper monster with an over react emotion.
that me!
i read lot of article to find way to control myself, without letting my anger control myself, seem to be it quite hard to do so... whenever i feel unsatisfying, my anger will just raise up, my face shown unhappy and hostile toward those people who i aim for.
so, since i so hard to control myself
i wondering ... just wondering, i dun look at my anger first
i should look at my own point of view, my sentimental feeling
YES, i got it
i over sense too much, i over react too much to people word and acting
that the main reason lead me into this situation.
finding myself wrong doing is something hard to detect, because personally, no one will think us (our self) do wrong (expect those thing that shown clear) , we give lot of excuse and reason to proof us (our self) was not part of the wrong ,it was other people problem
yet i found nothing wrong with myself
BUT
i careful inspect what i have done just now, while i remember hows people and friends shown their attitude and act toward you, eventually you know there something not right in between
the case :
my tea was late arrive since i order, it was actually been forgotten, beside that too much customer at the same time and those waiter unable to handle at all, since i was already given the order and i wait 10 min not seeing my tea arrived, so i call up the waiter but no one response? when i call for few more time, my patients getting hot, eventually, my anger come up.
the very first thing i will do is shout to those waiter, and then i give them my very unhappy look, i reply my word with anger but not with bad words. the fun thing is, as other people who insult me ( or because i take it too heavy) i will not look at he/she or talk with he/she until my mood is calm down!
so..beside i got emotional over react, i also a person without much patients...
not only that occur every time, but will give people stressful feeling
that why i look myself pathetic , bad temper monster with an over react emotion.
that me!
getting worse
as starting this year , i feel myself has gone bad luck so much ~
from the first day of this year, my gf breakup with me due tooo ... i dun know what is the exactly reason, but this doesnt bother me anymore~ rather not know
part of the problem also is money/ financial~ business this year run fine, i dun dare say it was suppose good, just it reach my target. but another way is, loan are getting more
since i need to cover my shop loan, and then a car loan, and then the insurances, and then the hospital health program~ and then family needs and then... then ?~
actually upper part is my crap story la~
what i notice is myself, my health getting worse, i started feel easily tired, no energy, lost concentration and easy forgotten, what make me more worry is i afraid i getting some symptom of disease, hopefully nothing happen to me ~ wakaka..
i remind back before, i always told my gf that i am a tough guy, i make of steel ( i know la, i just make an example) yes, before im tough, with my weight, i can lift something heavy near my weight, that was before
as now, got a word say as 未老先衰
look like it suit me now~ haha
from the first day of this year, my gf breakup with me due tooo ... i dun know what is the exactly reason, but this doesnt bother me anymore~ rather not know
part of the problem also is money/ financial~ business this year run fine, i dun dare say it was suppose good, just it reach my target. but another way is, loan are getting more
since i need to cover my shop loan, and then a car loan, and then the insurances, and then the hospital health program~ and then family needs and then... then ?~
actually upper part is my crap story la~
what i notice is myself, my health getting worse, i started feel easily tired, no energy, lost concentration and easy forgotten, what make me more worry is i afraid i getting some symptom of disease, hopefully nothing happen to me ~ wakaka..
i remind back before, i always told my gf that i am a tough guy, i make of steel ( i know la, i just make an example) yes, before im tough, with my weight, i can lift something heavy near my weight, that was before
as now, got a word say as 未老先衰
look like it suit me now~ haha
Monday, August 17, 2009
http://drawahouse.com
Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:
You are sensitive and indecisive at times. You are good at making friends and when the joyful moment arrives, you make the most out of it. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.
When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It's difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.
You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. We also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. You don't think much about yourself.
================
found on my friends blog, is funny to plaY~
well, some of it is quite true, as it was match my criteria lo ...
You are sensitive and indecisive at times. You are good at making friends and when the joyful moment arrives, you make the most out of it. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.
When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It's difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.
You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. We also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. You don't think much about yourself.
================
found on my friends blog, is funny to plaY~
well, some of it is quite true, as it was match my criteria lo ...
Sunday, August 16, 2009
western and chinese horoscope of mine
in western horoscope, i was born as libra
in Chinese horoscope, i was born at dog year
it just mixture that i found in internet, so just post it up to make it clear for those who interest getting know more about me!
it almost alike me, but it not really represented me 100% but i can tell u, at least 80%
========
1.frequently offer kind words and useful advice, always listening and lending a shoulder when necessary.
did i ? if no...u lie lo :P
2.often become deeply involved in others’ lives and are sometimes perceived as nosy.
i know sometime i busy about other people stuff, i was trying to give a help
3.Ensuring others are happy is more important to the wealth, money or success
myself sometime are quite money minded, but i would choose to have a happy family and friends compare the wealth
4.Loves to chat.
obviously i like to talk alot, but also depend to people who can have same channel with me
5.Loves those who loves them.
if you love me, i double back for you
6.Loves to takes things at the center.
make everything balanced! i just can't stand 1side too much
7.Inner and physical beauty.
yes, something tat so beauty = my anger .... haha
8.Lies but doesn't pretend.
i lie, but i not a pretender, i am a 50/50 angel/devil!
9.Gets angry often.
my inner beauty :P
10.Treats friends im...portantly.
to please my friends, to let them know i'm nice!
11.Always making friends.
i always wish i have many friends :D so i can know more new thing in my life
12.Easily hurt but recovers easily.
yes, i get emotional / depressed! but i can think pretty well for myself
13.Daydreamer.
dreaming my wife is Jessica Alba
14.Opinionated.
it only happen in very stressful state
15.Emotional.
emo, emo, my ex always say i so emo
16.Decisive.
having the power or quality of deciding; putting an end to controversy; crucial or most
do i look so tough?
17.Strong clairvoyance.
quick, intuitive knowledge of things and people; sagacity
i see thing fast, know it without knowing the thing...
18.Loves to travel, the arts and literature.
i love travel but i aint got the time for it
19.Touchy and easily jealous.
yes, this is what i am to the person i really love
20.Concerned.
i like caring my friends, especially my love one very
21.Loves outdoors.
reason because i dun wan to sit in my room for nothing
22.Just and fair.
because i not one side loser, i lose both side, that why i look just and fair
23.Spendthrift.
would it nice to treat a friends :D
24.Easily influenced.
true about it, i get influenced by certain people attitude and thinking
25.Easily loses confidence.
only happen to my love one and sometime related to business
26.Loves children.
i love kid, baby alot
some say..............
You're really smart, obviously you like reading, watch the news, and love discussing whatever is going on in the world. ...You enjoy being around people who challenge you intellectually.
Singles & Dating
Being single is something fun for it, becoz u are a freeman / freewomen~
but once u date someone out, mean u are ready for the open relationship~
so, what it gonna be for ur partner to find out ?
getting serious into a relationship, being understanding about ur partner attitude and think is really important, what does he/she like, thing to do, act, lifestyle,way of think and talk, you must able to live with their life views.
before i start the thing i want to write out, let us talk something about what happen today, couple aren't last long for some reason, or divorce for few year marriage~ does it really should happen to everyone (well, sometime thing are unable to control) but at least you still can put effort to avoid it happen!
static shown nowadays many couple / husband-wife get breakup/ divorce <--especially this would you want to be the next victim? here, i would state out some of the idea , YOU should asked before really get into "trouble" :D What are your religious views?
ppl get emotionally when talk about sensitive issue such as religion, make sure you can accept or respect it! this is very important
Do you believe in a God?
do you? me do, most people do, if you are not, stop making excuse or assumption or shit reason
What are your views about an afterlife?
this not really important, but it part of the religion matter
How should we agree to handle arguments?
get emotional, not happy about it, this is the toughest part when couple fighting~would you be the weakest one to allowing and forget / forgive your partner?
If you're mad about something how will you let me know?
expressing feeling is easy, due to people ego or selfish, they tend to keep inside, talk it out wont embarrassed you, it help you to solve/endure the matter
If you're having problems would you talk it out or keep it inside?
would you? or you just feel it not necessary? remind, keeping inside won't settle the issue, take it out and solve it!
Do you like sharing your feelings?
feeling..sometime it hard to express, but for your partner, they do understand
What are your views about same sex friends?
remember, every people has different view of everything, this is important to know would he/she can accept your friends?
How do you feel about ex-lovers being friends?
ex-lovers being a friends is some type of enemy for your new lover, so, ask and explain clearly!
How important is a girl's or guy's night out?
does he/she would get jealous about it? if do, this is quite a hard stage to maintain! it 21century!
Who should hold the main financial responsibility in a marriage?
BOTH! mainly guy would do, but this is not an old trend thinking, both must work it out!
Should a wife stay home with kids?
certain people think they should, well, it better to be~
What are your views about stay-at-home dads?
i bet malaysia here not much girl would accept a guy become a nanny?
How would you feel about women who make more money than men?
some people think it was absolutely nothing about it, well, would you feel incapable comparing?
What are your views towards handling money?
important, money is not everything, it almost all the of it
Do you feel you should save everything?
save for ur partner/ family will do, save little for yourself too
Do you feel you should splurge a little?
splurge = spend extravagantly or wastefully / luxury
if you rich, of cause you wont bother about this, but make a gift for yourself very once awhile
How would you rate your ability to handle money?
easy money = easy spending, are you a person that very stable?
How would you handle a debt problem?
debt, bet every people does own debt, plan careful
What would you do if your partner became disabled and couldn't work?
this word is something really wish not to happen, but it does happen too... could you lift it the burden or just run away?
What would you do if your partner face long-term unemployment?
this is sick, either he/she lazy or born to be feed.
What would you expect from that partner?
expect come in 2 thing, expect she/he "need" or "wanted"
Would you have an abortion?
remember, it illegal in malaysia, but it still can be done under some procedure
What are your views on abortion?
for me, it suck!
Do you want children?
nowadays many girl refuse to have child, so, ask them before you get her as your wife
How many children do you think a couple should have?
hey, it up to you, you can have 10 of it if you both not getting tired ...
How would you discipline your children?
family toughest JOB~ ask your old folk about it
Do you think couples should argue in front of their kids?
it not suppose to happen, this will give them a bad impression! remember not to do so!
Do you feel couples should have displays of affection in front of their kids?
displays of affection = such as kissing / hug in public
kissing shown love and care, it nothing really worry about it, just do "make love" in front of them!
What are your views on the educational system?
i won't know how to read or write without the education system!
How would you want your kids taught?
Public school, private school, home schooling, or other?
What do you feel about interracial couples?
both must INTERACTED! otherwise how to plan for the future?
How do you feel about same sex marriages?
for me, is awful, it not happen in malaysia (but there are a case happen too)
What are your views on age gap relationships (more than 10 years apart)?
people tend to say love is not about the age, but gap too far would be a problem too
How would you handle your children if they were involved in one of these types of relationships?
if they still young, advice and stop them, if they are mature enough to handle, shown them right advice / path
How would you handle your partner if they developed a problem such as gambling or alcohol?
this is serious, it should taught when they was kid, or otherwise it wont able to control in future
What would you do if your partner cheated on you?
don't do what appear in the newspaper, ask, solve, remember, forget and forgive ( not those serious case)
What are your life goals?
everyone has thier goals, would it effect your love one? let them know and together achieve it
What are your passions?
passion refer to innate or biologically driven emotion states, such as anger, greed, lust or bla bla bla....
If you had a million dollars how would you spend it?
a million not really much in this era now, spent wisely or keep it
Do you believe in marriage?
unless you want to alone
Do you believe you should only marry once?
jackpot hit one only in your life, but it happen to other for few time, get it?
What do you hope to gain from a marriage?
what is the thing you really need to do? yes, a happy and healthy family
What do you expect from a marriage partner?
expect nothing but love and understand of both
What do you feel is the purpose of a couple getting married?
well, what yours? not about because of trend style, it both agree to make a new generation for the future ( for the common sense)
Saturday, August 1, 2009
我还在想她吗？
夜晚了，本来应该去睡的我却偏偏不睡。。。在想某人吧？
对，的确想她，都两年多了，还是想她。。。
何必让自已辛苦呢？ 爱她的感觉还留在心底但却不能去爱她，照顾她
想起朋友的话。。。
过去了就得放开，虽然有一段难忘的爱情，随说她是最好的，但不能说定她是你永远的
我人很绝，特别脾气比较暴躁，对她虽没有打，却都很狠的骂她，心灵上都应该受到压力很伤感吧
或许给她的爱不够多，不够诚心，重点却给不到她未来和希望。。。
其实爱她并不难，从来都没有要求过我什么东西。。。
我知道你每次都希望我。。。。
可以陪你更久，给你多点时间在我身边
买小礼物给你
陪你吃饭看戏聊天睡觉
旅行逛街游山玩水
好好的听丛你心声
照顾你，关怀你
到底，我做到吗？
心底突然说起。。。我没有。
对还是。。。？
我也容嫉妒别人对她的好， 其实看到她开心才是重点
只是知道自已比较喜欢胡思乱想，情绪化。。。该死的我！
如一部戏，可以回头的话，我也希望可以真的爱她多一次
现在，我只希望她可以让我疼她
希望她病情好转。。。
对，的确想她，都两年多了，还是想她。。。
何必让自已辛苦呢？ 爱她的感觉还留在心底但却不能去爱她，照顾她
想起朋友的话。。。
过去了就得放开，虽然有一段难忘的爱情，随说她是最好的，但不能说定她是你永远的
我人很绝，特别脾气比较暴躁，对她虽没有打，却都很狠的骂她，心灵上都应该受到压力很伤感吧
或许给她的爱不够多，不够诚心，重点却给不到她未来和希望。。。
其实爱她并不难，从来都没有要求过我什么东西。。。
我知道你每次都希望我。。。。
可以陪你更久，给你多点时间在我身边
买小礼物给你
陪你吃饭看戏聊天睡觉
旅行逛街游山玩水
好好的听丛你心声
照顾你，关怀你
到底，我做到吗？
心底突然说起。。。我没有。
对还是。。。？
我也容嫉妒别人对她的好， 其实看到她开心才是重点
只是知道自已比较喜欢胡思乱想，情绪化。。。该死的我！
如一部戏，可以回头的话，我也希望可以真的爱她多一次
现在，我只希望她可以让我疼她
希望她病情好转。。。
Sunday, July 19, 2009
a second hand car
yes, recently i just brought a big car, is a second hand japanese car, but i ain't telling what model is it.
this car is big, is a sedan. i like this car alot becoz it representative myself
however, i hoping this car doesnt give me much trouble, but recently, sadly, it does show me lot of problem.
i invest almost 3k to repair the chasis of the car, then it was perfect
but today morning, it show me another worse day. the car just break down due to the engine over heating! the temp meter shown no overheating result.
gosh, it not suppose to be happen becoz everything was so fine, however, maybe i really bad luck to driving this car?
my foreman also shock about it, he spent few day to repair and happy to complete my car, now he also frustrated the problem, he ask me to better phone the car salesman to complaint about the problem of the car, as it under warranty.
hopefully, the salesman do the report for me, so i wont keep on spending my money to repair the car.
i not blame the car having much trouble
however, i blaming myself not in a good luck recently
maybe, always in my mind, someone close to me always give me luck, while they not here anymore, the luck simply fade away along with them.....
this car is big, is a sedan. i like this car alot becoz it representative myself
however, i hoping this car doesnt give me much trouble, but recently, sadly, it does show me lot of problem.
i invest almost 3k to repair the chasis of the car, then it was perfect
but today morning, it show me another worse day. the car just break down due to the engine over heating! the temp meter shown no overheating result.
gosh, it not suppose to be happen becoz everything was so fine, however, maybe i really bad luck to driving this car?
my foreman also shock about it, he spent few day to repair and happy to complete my car, now he also frustrated the problem, he ask me to better phone the car salesman to complaint about the problem of the car, as it under warranty.
hopefully, the salesman do the report for me, so i wont keep on spending my money to repair the car.
i not blame the car having much trouble
however, i blaming myself not in a good luck recently
maybe, always in my mind, someone close to me always give me luck, while they not here anymore, the luck simply fade away along with them.....
Another day
again, another weekend passed by since
before, weekend for me was a very pleasure day, i can rest at home, hanging out with buddy, free to clean my stuff and whatever that haven't done yet.
now it not same like before, every weekend for me does not stack any meaning
feeling just so different from yesterday.
weekend for me is a boring day, i less hanging out with buddy, yet no places for me to go and thing let me to do
wondering what happen to myself
just feeling not as happy as before
maybe i wish someone appear into my life again and brighten me up
before, weekend for me was a very pleasure day, i can rest at home, hanging out with buddy, free to clean my stuff and whatever that haven't done yet.
now it not same like before, every weekend for me does not stack any meaning
feeling just so different from yesterday.
weekend for me is a boring day, i less hanging out with buddy, yet no places for me to go and thing let me to do
wondering what happen to myself
just feeling not as happy as before
maybe i wish someone appear into my life again and brighten me up
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Another day passed
the day after valentine day, at last i overcome this day...
it not any bad day for me, just it mean something to me, when there i with my love one spent a meaningful moment together.
i was keep pressing myself not to think about past time, it never help me thru either. And recently i meet a new friend where she is lovely and cute, i try to move my heart onto her, it should take time to forgetting "her" .
valentine day, it been long time i never pass it alone, and today, i still have bunch of friends gather together to enjoy it. every couple outside happy, carring present, flower and memorable time. Is happy to see them such perfect lover, hereby, i wish every couple have the faith forever till end.
and thanks to every friends of mine who are so nice letting me join
it not any bad day for me, just it mean something to me, when there i with my love one spent a meaningful moment together.
i was keep pressing myself not to think about past time, it never help me thru either. And recently i meet a new friend where she is lovely and cute, i try to move my heart onto her, it should take time to forgetting "her" .
valentine day, it been long time i never pass it alone, and today, i still have bunch of friends gather together to enjoy it. every couple outside happy, carring present, flower and memorable time. Is happy to see them such perfect lover, hereby, i wish every couple have the faith forever till end.
and thanks to every friends of mine who are so nice letting me join
Thursday, January 22, 2009
傷感的回憶
為什麼又想起 那段傷感的回憶
不能忘記 離別話語
你的笑在風中躲藏 出沒在每一個地方
隨著夜風吹送 四处飄蕩 落在我心上
你還在我心上 不能提也不能忘
誰都知道 我為誰感傷
不願對愛還抱希望 糾纏的苦自己嘗
卻又日日夜夜 反覆思量 困在你心房
我的心好煩 愛一個人為何這麼難
我的世界 留不住你的感情多一晚
收放之間 怎麼做才能不艱難
不能忘記 離別話語
你的笑在風中躲藏 出沒在每一個地方
隨著夜風吹送 四处飄蕩 落在我心上
你還在我心上 不能提也不能忘
誰都知道 我為誰感傷
不願對愛還抱希望 糾纏的苦自己嘗
卻又日日夜夜 反覆思量 困在你心房
我的心好煩 愛一個人為何這麼難
我的世界 留不住你的感情多一晚
收放之間 怎麼做才能不艱難
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Remind of my love one
just sudden remind about
in my life till now, (future i dun know) , there are 2 gal i only still keep in heart, although i love them, but i know i never have the right to keep them beside me, because i am not the right one for them.
the only girl who make me live in a happiness life
- selena -
she is the most lovable girl i ever know, she lovely, caring, tender, sweet sometime spicy, smart, cheerful, and beautiful. it might too much to describe her, till now, i still miss her alot, even i not special person for her.
i make my promise to her, till now, i still hold the promise and i answer my faithfulness and careness to her. maybe it not strong but it alot meaningful to me. as i doing my part to ensure she still safe and well going on. just i still fail to make her happy, this is the thing i fail to do to her.
1 year more together her, priceless memory, still sweetening me right now. and i always think she was my wife....wife~~ unofficial "thinking"
actually, our breakup is mainly 2 reason, the love that i give her not strong enough, that lead me to separate with her, secondly is my parent refuse to our love. i hardly to take decision, till now, i still feel uncomfortable for the breakup.
however, i and her still keep in touch, even becoming more less nowaday
i just want to said to her :
~ i am sorry to you, selena. i do love you like no one, i really willing to spent much thing of myself to you. you truly the only person who i ever take so serious.
by time you with me, you become are good listener for me, you can resist my anger, you be patient with me, you help me for my business, you be a "unofficial" wife to me for cooking and pampering me.
i honestly to said, non of any girl willing to do so. but you are different that any other. you own the stlye and way that attract me, i living in your world and your dream that i wish i could forever like this.
i am sorry because i have leave you for reason, even it does hurt you but you understanding me, i wish you scold me yet you never do it, this make me even more guiltiness. from that time, i not the one for you, but i still wish to do the best for you and hope you can take it.
penang "kek lok si" temple
Genting Highland
in my life till now, (future i dun know) , there are 2 gal i only still keep in heart, although i love them, but i know i never have the right to keep them beside me, because i am not the right one for them.
the only girl who make me live in a happiness life
- selena -
she is the most lovable girl i ever know, she lovely, caring, tender, sweet sometime spicy, smart, cheerful, and beautiful. it might too much to describe her, till now, i still miss her alot, even i not special person for her.
i make my promise to her, till now, i still hold the promise and i answer my faithfulness and careness to her. maybe it not strong but it alot meaningful to me. as i doing my part to ensure she still safe and well going on. just i still fail to make her happy, this is the thing i fail to do to her.
1 year more together her, priceless memory, still sweetening me right now. and i always think she was my wife....wife~~ unofficial "thinking"
actually, our breakup is mainly 2 reason, the love that i give her not strong enough, that lead me to separate with her, secondly is my parent refuse to our love. i hardly to take decision, till now, i still feel uncomfortable for the breakup.
however, i and her still keep in touch, even becoming more less nowaday
i just want to said to her :
~ i am sorry to you, selena. i do love you like no one, i really willing to spent much thing of myself to you. you truly the only person who i ever take so serious.
by time you with me, you become are good listener for me, you can resist my anger, you be patient with me, you help me for my business, you be a "unofficial" wife to me for cooking and pampering me.
i honestly to said, non of any girl willing to do so. but you are different that any other. you own the stlye and way that attract me, i living in your world and your dream that i wish i could forever like this.
i am sorry because i have leave you for reason, even it does hurt you but you understanding me, i wish you scold me yet you never do it, this make me even more guiltiness. from that time, i not the one for you, but i still wish to do the best for you and hope you can take it.
penang "kek lok si" temple
Genting HighlandControlling my anger
as before i always found out myself really into a very trouble, and this cause everyone with me have to suffer the worse nightmare from me, "anger"
my "anger" aren't any ordinary people own, my one is trademark, superb "anger" that like volcano erupt, the heat around me can spread to very far, the power of my angry-ness almost like 10tons of TNT explosion. haha....
this cause the one that i love leave me, because i hardly to control myself for angry-ness. maybe is really a unchangeable attitude. however, i realize myself very clear, i am not a person who like to angry, but i are easy been trigger to "anger".
my "anger" always took over me, i am too easy to expose to "anger", whenever i meet traffic jam, getting butt screw from others, meet bottleneck, work unwell, and get butt screw from the one i love.
i learning to control my emotion, and it very sensitive, beside that, i shouldn't be too emotional sometime, it just make me keep on think and think those sad happenings. people around me who taste my "anger" really feel awful, although it not smelly but hardly to accept.
i read an article about "controlling anger - before it control you"
this give me tip and few way to controlling myself, i found useful and i try to do as said, hope i can be better rather than becoming rage.
http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html
however, i hope i really can be better person for everyone around me
and also :
to those beloved who suffer from my anger explosion, i may want to say sorry to you all
my "anger" aren't any ordinary people own, my one is trademark, superb "anger" that like volcano erupt, the heat around me can spread to very far, the power of my angry-ness almost like 10tons of TNT explosion. haha....
this cause the one that i love leave me, because i hardly to control myself for angry-ness. maybe is really a unchangeable attitude. however, i realize myself very clear, i am not a person who like to angry, but i are easy been trigger to "anger".
my "anger" always took over me, i am too easy to expose to "anger", whenever i meet traffic jam, getting butt screw from others, meet bottleneck, work unwell, and get butt screw from the one i love.
i learning to control my emotion, and it very sensitive, beside that, i shouldn't be too emotional sometime, it just make me keep on think and think those sad happenings. people around me who taste my "anger" really feel awful, although it not smelly but hardly to accept.
i read an article about "controlling anger - before it control you"
this give me tip and few way to controlling myself, i found useful and i try to do as said, hope i can be better rather than becoming rage.
http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html
however, i hope i really can be better person for everyone around me
and also :
to those beloved who suffer from my anger explosion, i may want to say sorry to you all
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
What really my attitude and style?
sometime is really hard to write out what i really want, and i feel
i think about it everytime, and to mark down what i think of myself....
==------------------==
-love beauty in most aspects of life including the girl that i love
-don't really like to hurt anyone intentionally which does end up putting me at the mercy of my beloved.
-do respond to flattery or praise very much
-like those girl that are well dressed with long hair and moist lips, as long as she give me a good feel
-indecisiveness happen to me sometime when in relationships
-slightest upset happen, will upset me for a period...
-hate to be mis-judged and I really care what other people think of me
-bad temper/aggressive always cause me to take thing heavily even a small matter
....
and alot yet i didnt write down
anyone who has opinion on me, please write out, it is ok to write badly~ wuahahaha
i think about it everytime, and to mark down what i think of myself....
==------------------==
-love beauty in most aspects of life including the girl that i love
-don't really like to hurt anyone intentionally which does end up putting me at the mercy of my beloved.
-do respond to flattery or praise very much
-like those girl that are well dressed with long hair and moist lips, as long as she give me a good feel
-indecisiveness happen to me sometime when in relationships
-slightest upset happen, will upset me for a period...
-hate to be mis-judged and I really care what other people think of me
-bad temper/aggressive always cause me to take thing heavily even a small matter
....
and alot yet i didnt write down
anyone who has opinion on me, please write out, it is ok to write badly~ wuahahaha
Monday, January 5, 2009
To her , for once
It's been almost five month together
since you broke my heart that day
I tried so hard to hang on
But you slowly faded away
The memory of you still ghosting me
Everyday and when I'm thinks
I pray someday you will realize
That maybe you had made a wrong decision
We laughed, we hoped and we loved
I spread my dream under your feet, tread softly
And were going to be together forever
As long as we had each other we could overcome any challenge
The sound of your voice still surrounded in my mind
The way it would get all sweet and tender
Whenever you said I love you, my hubby
Those memories I can't surrender but suffer
You hurt my heart when you told me you inlove someone
But I still hardly letting you away
Please lie to me once and tell me it's just a word of nothing
Hurry before these pity heart long gone
Can't you see I'm so sad without you?
My heart is broken wounded with no cure
I have try to forgiven you for much thing
But I hope you do care
Tell me what makes you love him more than you love me?
What is it about him that makes your heart fall?
You told me that I was all you ever needed
What happened to that desire for me you once felt?
Your days are now spent with him as you forget about me
You are happy with another while I'm drowning in sorrow
I hardly take the pain of losing you
Yet I am learn to accept the fact
since you broke my heart that day
I tried so hard to hang on
But you slowly faded away
The memory of you still ghosting me
Everyday and when I'm thinks
I pray someday you will realize
That maybe you had made a wrong decision
We laughed, we hoped and we loved
I spread my dream under your feet, tread softly
And were going to be together forever
As long as we had each other we could overcome any challenge
The sound of your voice still surrounded in my mind
The way it would get all sweet and tender
Whenever you said I love you, my hubby
Those memories I can't surrender but suffer
You hurt my heart when you told me you inlove someone
But I still hardly letting you away
Please lie to me once and tell me it's just a word of nothing
Hurry before these pity heart long gone
Can't you see I'm so sad without you?
My heart is broken wounded with no cure
I have try to forgiven you for much thing
But I hope you do care
Tell me what makes you love him more than you love me?
What is it about him that makes your heart fall?
You told me that I was all you ever needed
What happened to that desire for me you once felt?
Your days are now spent with him as you forget about me
You are happy with another while I'm drowning in sorrow
I hardly take the pain of losing you
Yet I am learn to accept the fact
medical
today i went to ampang puteri hospital...
to purchase a full package for personal health checkup that total 110+ kind of test that included CT scan and MSI scan.
i spent rm16000 with every year renew the test for rm688
i really didnt think much of it, since that i seldom take care of myself, so i decide to spent this amount to help myself, maybe is a waste, but it just think how everyone value it.
having a good health maybe is what should i concern about too, before it was too late to discover any bad happenings.
i hope i did the right way to make myself more healthy and better
to purchase a full package for personal health checkup that total 110+ kind of test that included CT scan and MSI scan.
i spent rm16000 with every year renew the test for rm688
i really didnt think much of it, since that i seldom take care of myself, so i decide to spent this amount to help myself, maybe is a waste, but it just think how everyone value it.
having a good health maybe is what should i concern about too, before it was too late to discover any bad happenings.
i hope i did the right way to make myself more healthy and better
Sunday, January 4, 2009
forgive and forget
how many people really can reach this level to forgive and forget a person for wrong doing?
to me, is a hard way to reach, i never been so tough for this yet, but i am willing to learn, somehow myself are follow my heart guidance, and causes so much trouble because of unsatisfying and heart broken!
letting the person you love go is hard....
today, i overcome the sadness, every single word stuck inside my heart is voice out, i feel so comfort and relax...
now would i give her a chances to becoming a friends...is to see whether i can forgive and forget what she done to me, yet i cannot answer this now. maybe yes maybe no. just let the time judge
feeling lost of love is somewhat hardest feeling ever any human being felt! so, i really hope everyone could really appreciate the love one around you, please love them and trust them if they are the person who give you future and true
to me, is a hard way to reach, i never been so tough for this yet, but i am willing to learn, somehow myself are follow my heart guidance, and causes so much trouble because of unsatisfying and heart broken!
letting the person you love go is hard....
today, i overcome the sadness, every single word stuck inside my heart is voice out, i feel so comfort and relax...
now would i give her a chances to becoming a friends...is to see whether i can forgive and forget what she done to me, yet i cannot answer this now. maybe yes maybe no. just let the time judge
feeling lost of love is somewhat hardest feeling ever any human being felt! so, i really hope everyone could really appreciate the love one around you, please love them and trust them if they are the person who give you future and true
Saturday, January 3, 2009
lovesick
lovesick = love that causing me to sick...
sickness of love divide by 2
sickness of losing love and sickness of over loving
i having sickness of losing love, and it lead to
stressful
moody
pain in the heart but not ass
unable to sleep, this is better than any coffee ...
the toughest one is ... ur heart are crying not ur eyes.
the suffering of unable to let it all out, everything just stuck inside and jeopardize.. jam le...
sickness of love divide by 2
sickness of losing love and sickness of over loving
i having sickness of losing love, and it lead to
stressful
moody
pain in the heart but not ass
unable to sleep, this is better than any coffee ...
the toughest one is ... ur heart are crying not ur eyes.
the suffering of unable to let it all out, everything just stuck inside and jeopardize.. jam le...
stupid i am?
a white gold diamond ring to represented she was the future one
does a ring make it so important? then it just up to you
present a important thing to a person that are special never is a joke, it always bring meaning, and it the part that generate more closer inside relationship beside that having sex.
other than that, the very holiday we have , the time for simple. it the key to both side to have special moment together, without it, you fail apart of it
the sum for myself, is quite a failure person i am.....
because i think take care of her is enough......
does a ring make it so important? then it just up to you
present a important thing to a person that are special never is a joke, it always bring meaning, and it the part that generate more closer inside relationship beside that having sex.
other than that, the very holiday we have , the time for simple. it the key to both side to have special moment together, without it, you fail apart of it
the sum for myself, is quite a failure person i am.....
because i think take care of her is enough......
the lost of precious person
for myself...i never like cheating, unless it bring goodness, cheat for good as it mean to avoid bad happening!
right or wrong is just a personal view for everyone, love does not contain right or wrong, it is because human are selfishly! and everyone always demand the best and suitable person with them, it happen to me too, till i take it lightly!
i am a person who don't deserve much, i never expect any kind of beauty to the person i like or love, she give me the feel, she the one. sound that i might give you lot of complaint not because i like to complaint, it is because i hope you can listen and improve yourself , it is a way that improve self personal and attitude!
myself toward love is heavy, especially to those i hold so true, because she is very "true" to me, she very precious to me, afraid of losing and lead to too much worry and controlling. personal attitude cause the problem wanted her to change her own style to suit the person i wanted!
sometime, people say, losing someone precious only realize it was too late to save...
it make sense, to those who less pay attention to the person they love...
do i deserve? yes, i do, because i didnt able give more time and space to be with her, also i take it lighty on the relationship!
=====
losing her is a pain for short term
getting kick by her is kinda heavy wounded inside my heart, it much more pain
getting cheat by her is the worse part, true feeling end up get none
right or wrong is just a personal view for everyone, love does not contain right or wrong, it is because human are selfishly! and everyone always demand the best and suitable person with them, it happen to me too, till i take it lightly!
i am a person who don't deserve much, i never expect any kind of beauty to the person i like or love, she give me the feel, she the one. sound that i might give you lot of complaint not because i like to complaint, it is because i hope you can listen and improve yourself , it is a way that improve self personal and attitude!
myself toward love is heavy, especially to those i hold so true, because she is very "true" to me, she very precious to me, afraid of losing and lead to too much worry and controlling. personal attitude cause the problem wanted her to change her own style to suit the person i wanted!
sometime, people say, losing someone precious only realize it was too late to save...
it make sense, to those who less pay attention to the person they love...
do i deserve? yes, i do, because i didnt able give more time and space to be with her, also i take it lighty on the relationship!
=====
losing her is a pain for short term
getting kick by her is kinda heavy wounded inside my heart, it much more pain
getting cheat by her is the worse part, true feeling end up get none
Heart broken?
yeah, it pain, it hurt, it miserable, it just feel hard to accept what it happening to me right now
see openly...the world is more widely that my think!
a relationship that come into a halt and end without a proper reason it kinda confuse. this is the kind i have to facing now...always, remind myself to be strong, and tough....in many way, yet not in my love life, softheart cause me keep on thinking and moody...
taking care myself never is a problem, taking care of other was the tough part....
the girl that breaking up with me because of loving other guy, first time i ever face
just maybe i not the right one...i insist myself are a good person to the one i love, maybe just the way everyone wanted is different.
i prefer a love relationship that are low profile, safe and smooth, rather than over heating...
i might because got into too much time in love, that generating me to become like this, for her, still new and still need the "young" and "hot" feeling...
whatever, this is take time to recover...i really hope myself can always endure this happenings, and i willing to learn and let it go!
wish i am happy single now
and to those girl that are cheat guy feeling, you all never have the right to say any, and u deserve the bad punishment!
see openly...the world is more widely that my think!
a relationship that come into a halt and end without a proper reason it kinda confuse. this is the kind i have to facing now...always, remind myself to be strong, and tough....in many way, yet not in my love life, softheart cause me keep on thinking and moody...
taking care myself never is a problem, taking care of other was the tough part....
the girl that breaking up with me because of loving other guy, first time i ever face
just maybe i not the right one...i insist myself are a good person to the one i love, maybe just the way everyone wanted is different.
i prefer a love relationship that are low profile, safe and smooth, rather than over heating...
i might because got into too much time in love, that generating me to become like this, for her, still new and still need the "young" and "hot" feeling...
whatever, this is take time to recover...i really hope myself can always endure this happenings, and i willing to learn and let it go!
wish i am happy single now
and to those girl that are cheat guy feeling, you all never have the right to say any, and u deserve the bad punishment!
Friday, January 2, 2009
New Year with a Bad start?
ohye~ new year was fun , i not going anyplaces, just during the mid time, going out have drink with my friends....yet this was a bad decision rather to hang with friend that girl-friends...so, result she was not happy and wanted to break up ~ what a mess... but im very okie, if u wan to break, then break lo~ i dun really mind so much thing nowadays, tired of handling problem that keep on surroudding me!
later on ask wat actually happen, she answer me back said that she like another guy, hmm..is kinda common too if she meet another guy that better than me lot more! however, i dont have heavy feel for letting she go, just feeling abit hard for myself to this sudden happenings!
well, i hope this year i got more business rather than love problem and gain more respect too!
cheer!
later on ask wat actually happen, she answer me back said that she like another guy, hmm..is kinda common too if she meet another guy that better than me lot more! however, i dont have heavy feel for letting she go, just feeling abit hard for myself to this sudden happenings!
well, i hope this year i got more business rather than love problem and gain more respect too!
cheer!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
